Flashes from the Past

Adam is playing Red Alert in the living room. He hasn't played that, let alone been home on a Saturday night (any night for that matter) since high school.

I'm really questioning my connection to the boys. Am I home enough? Do we talk enough? Do they need something I'm totally missing? Have I done an adequate job (especially with Adam)? I don't know where to begin a conversation with them.

Now that there is time to stop and think and smell the roses, I am feeling less secure about my parenting. Naturally in adolescence there is a breaking away that occurs. If they were hanging around me too much I guess that would be even weirder. What is my role exactly?

On the night Junior died, Cal called me to his room and broke down crying. It felt good to be the one needed for a change. I don't want him to be afraid to cry in front of his dad, but damn I felt privileged. I guess that's one good thing I did pass along, that it's okay to cry.